For most people, marriage is the most important part of bonding lovers together. But when feminism arise in Canada, some men started seeking for an "ideal" wife oversea because the feminism values are a problem for them. So "mail order brides" becomes popluar among men who believe woman should be submissive. Every year, there are significant portion of women from various foreign countries, travelled across the ocean to start a new life with their Canadian men, some might have met once before, or never meet each other before. we called them "Mail Order Brides" According to Immigrant Women of Canada, white men between age 40-60, well educated, divorced and from more developed countries tend to have a mail order bride. But I am not going to discuss the reasons why Men prefer mail order brides here.
It sounds like stories with these women has a fairytale ending. But the fact is the nightmare is coming when they arrive Canada...
First, language barrier is an issue for Mail Order Brides, some of them might not have decent English to communicate with others in this English dominated country, this already put them in disadvantage at the first place.
Second, they often feel isolated from the society due to the cultural difference and language barrier, they cannot make friends because of language matters, and not to mention that their husband with conservative beliefs might resist them to contact with people other than the husband.
Third, some of them experienced sexual or physical abuse because of the traditional value lie under in their husbands that men should be superior than women.
They sound horrible, isn't it. but why most of them choose to be quiet for such depressing experience? It's because most of these mail order bride are from developing countries such as The Philippines, Thailand and Russia etc. They come to Canada with a cope of improve their lifestyle and giving financial support to her family in her originated country in order to get out of the rough situation back to her own country. That's why they prefer to take the abuses, being isolated from other is better to live under poverty in their own countries.
It's upset that there aren't too many research and information about mail order brides in Canada, plus that there aren't too many supports for these mail order brides. They are an "hidden minority group" because of their language barrier and their fear of seeking help from others.
At the end, I would say that mail order bride is one of the consequence of feminism roses in Canada because the value of patriarchy is deeply rooted in some men's mind still, in my opinion, before the society can traet men and women equally, the issues of mail order bride still exists.
Sarah Poon
Reference:
The Good Wife's Guide(13 May,1955), Housekeeping Monthly.
Kornelson, Rachel (November 24, 2007) Mail Order Brides, Immigrant Women Canadahttp://www.immigrantwomencanada.info/articles/articles_1.html
I found this really interesting. I've actually never heard of mail order brides, and am quite surprised. That is a horrible thing.
ReplyDelete-Allery
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ReplyDeleteI have actually heard of mali order brides but didn't realize that so many people actually do this. I agree with Melanie that it is horrible that they left their homes to escape poverty and come here and endure emotional, physical and mental abuse. It is also upsetting that there aren't any resources for these women in Canada or their homelands. I hope that this issue is soon brought in to the public eye so that these women don't have to feel alone or endure the abuse much longer.
ReplyDelete-Alexis B.
This is a very engaging post. I have never heard of a mail order brides and it's quite shocking to hear that this is happening. After reading your post I googled it and I found the sites similar to dating/matchmaking sites. However, like you said, many probably use it as a way to escape from home not knowing what they're getting into. I hope that this is an issue that will be brought to light.
ReplyDelete- Kristal
I have heard of mail order brides before but it is still shocking to me to imagine that it actually happens. I understand that they are trying to escape a life of poverty and distress in their home countries but I can not imagine if that would be enough for me to be driven to come to a life that I would be so uncertain of. Coming to a new country filled with unfamiliarity in regards to language and culture would scare me. Many of the women, I would imagine become trapped here as well due to their vulnerability and possibly a controlling husband. It is scary to think that this happens in our society.
ReplyDeleteDana W
This is a very educational post. I have heard about mail order brides before, but I wasn't aware that it was happening here in Canada! I thought it was just overseas. It’s shocking to me that women are being treated like this still in our society. I thought we had come a long way from something serious like this. Canada is known to be a welcoming country for immigrants to come to. Knowing that women are being sent here "by mail" and being under complete control of a male is scary. They think they're going to have a better life here and Canada, and in turn become trapped in their new abusive lifestyle. I hope the government is looking into this problem and trying to put a stop to it!
ReplyDelete- Jessica VL
It's hard to believe this unjustness to women is still being done today. Something definitely needs to be done!
ReplyDeleteMy brother went on a missionary trip to the Dominican Republic last winter. The day before he came back to Canada a man offered his 15 year old daughter to him in marriage. The father wanted a better life for his daughter in our "rich" country. How sad this is! I can only imagine how many fathers would have the best intentions in mind by offering their daughters to strangers, but also how much this would affect the women in so many negatives ways by being "given away".
Very interesting post!
Sarah H
Very interesting blog you did here, I would have never guessed that such a thing existed. It’s a sad situation that these women are in, it’s almost as if this is another form of slavery, would you agree? In this example we see that women are being taken advantage of, even if they are not being forced to come to Canada, in a sense, they may have little choice, because they may be trying to escape their own countries, or what you talked about before, trying to provide for their families back home.
ReplyDeleteEven if they wanted to reach out for assistance, if you can’t speak english, it will be hard to ask for help, but even worse, they may not want to ask for help because of the fear of violent confrontation that it may cause. I hope further research is done in this area, just as you suggested, if we know this is happening, we should do something to prevent it.
-Rocco Scarcella
Good choice of a topic for a blog! I did not even know this type of thing was still happening. Perfect relevance to your topic. Good job!
ReplyDelete-Avery F
Excellent post Sarah! I was completely unaware of these "mail order brides." I can't believe that this is the way some people live. It's very unfortunate what these women go through. Thanks for raising awareness on this subject and educating us a little bit about it.
ReplyDelete-Marina R
Isn’t it hard to believe that something like this could happen in good old Canada? Maybe it’s just my feminist upbringing but I have a hard time accepting that it is women’s fault that men are going for “mail order brides.” Women are finally getting close to getting the respect and appreciation that they deserve so how insulting is it that Canadian men are looking into “mail order brides.” Not only are they insulting Canadian women, but they are abusing and totally humiliating the “mail order brides.” Its extremely sad to hear about women from having to go through this abuse and humiliation to try and make a better life for themselves and their family.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Sarah! It really made me evaluate some things!
Alyssa V
This is an interesting take on feminism and immigration. Great job and finding a link between the two. The concept of mail order brides is very similar to that of war brides in my opinion and I think that such an idea is very degrading for women. The idea that a better life exists should not motivate a woman to seek marriage from a stranger. Being a woman, I agree with your statement that marriage is a very special and important bond between two people, and I do not believe that this bond can be achieved by arriving in the mail! This construct only adds to the oppression and helplessness of our immigrant women.
ReplyDeleteTara Purvis
The topic of mail order brides is extremely saddening, and the lack of self esteem and worthlessness that these women may feel when being shipped to Canada to marry is upsetting. Sexual and physical abuse has always been an issue that irritates me profoundly. And to know that these women may take that chance when arriving in Canada gives me great sympathy for the women. It is disgusting however that some men would take advantage of women so easily when given the chance. I know this ‘mail order bride’ is there to give immigrant women the opportunity for a new life, but by giving up her importance in life, the question id like to ask is: is it really worth it over all?
ReplyDeleteAutumn B.
I relate mail order brides to an arranged marriage. In an arranged marriage you may not know the person you are marrying and it is something your parents do to benefit you or to benefit them. This transaction occurs between two consenting adults and I am sure the risks are known to them. This is a really big decision to make and I hope before the marriage occurs that they are making the decision that is right for them. I do not feel like it is anyone’s place to judge others and the paths they choose to take in life.
ReplyDeleteJessica N
I wonder why its men ages 40- 60 who are divorced and well educated? You would think that since there educated they would be capable of meeting someone here. I don't think mail order brides are right. It's a violation on feminism. Everything that Canadian feminists worked for is being taken away by less developed countries that still believe that it is allright to just send over their women. It should be outlawed. How does the woman who's leaving her country understand what she is leaving for? There are too many risks involved.
ReplyDelete- Samantha G 7637608
Wow Wow Wow. This is a really good blog post Sarah. I personally find it so shocking that people are doing this. In the back of my mind I want to believe that the relationships these girls have with these men are all for the love. But sadly many times its exactly the opposite. The woman just wants to come to a free country where she can start fresh and begin a new life but once they get here they realize they are in for a hellish experience. These men on the other hand are in my mind doing a horrible thing if they don't really love these woman. I can understand that many of these men are desperate but this is not the way to do it. It may seem like a win win situation at first but as we all know after reading your blog that this is not a win win situation at all. We need to find a way as a society to help this situation by preventing these situations from happening and when they do we need to find a way to help these mail order brides out.-Brittany L
ReplyDeleteI've heard of mail order brides and people always make it seem like such a joke. Especially in the movies. But your post makes it very evident that it isn't something to joke about. It's nice to be able to come to Canada for a new life in theory, but when they are married into an abusive relationship it must make them wonder why they chose this path.
ReplyDeleteBrittney M
I’ve never actually heard of mail order brides which made this blog very educational. I just think that it’s horrible that they have to leave their country to get away from poverty and then some of them have to suffer abuse when they come to Canada. No one should have to be put through such misery! I believe that we should provide the assistance and programs that could benefit these women. Also, people should be aware of this topic, therefore we need to research more about it so we can educate people.
ReplyDeleteMelanie. F
I would like to add that many of these women are also sold into sex trafficking by their would be husbands, and likely because of the immense cultural differences don’t know the first place to look for help once here. There are at least four recent cases of American men murdering (sometimes quite brutally) their mail-order bride.
ReplyDeleteHolly L
I was re-reading this post because I found it so interesting, as well as did more research on the subject. I was shocked by the process in which the purchasing of Mail Order Brides is done. I can't believe that women are actually advertised in local newspapers and sold like a product through "mail order agencies". I am sad to know that some women use this awful life as an escape from something even worse. Great post Sarah!
ReplyDelete-Marina R